The most anticipated name on my calling list - the one I eagerly anticipate because I never ever reach him/her when I try. Oh yes, he/she calls.

(Sarcasm wholly intended.)

Another typical instance of me being willingly and grudgingly (no contradiction there) pushed around. Taken for granted. It's what I'm good at I think.

(Sarcasm wholly intended.)

I long for your 'thank you's. And I long for your 'can I help you's.

(Paradox wholly intended.)

Though you don't seem to know anyway.

Whatever.

Get on with it, get over it, and get out of it.

You wouldn't believe it but you have to (even I don't really believe it but) - I'm still posting here!

I get confused when I measure myself against other people - makes me wonder what I am. Of course, I still don't know what I am, as much as how a rubberband would never know exactly what it is without asking Stephen Perry.

I think its okay not knowing.

There's something else I know though - that if you read this, you will be searching Stephen Perry on Google... or probably already have.

UCB Noteworthy = Performativity

Who would have thought I'd still be blogging? ('Who' includes me.)
I always think I can abandon this blog for good, but haha, no.
The reason why I don't really like blogging here is probably because the things I think of blogging about here these days are different from any of the previous entries in this blog.

This blog shall remain for moments of awkwardness such as this.

I like to keep people guessing.

At the end of the day, I still like the piano.

King Solomon went from stations to stations, kinda like trying out ambitions and goals one after another, but at the end of the day still found God being the sole purpose of his existence.

I'd like to think I did something quite similar (perhaps because there is just this prestige in having any forms of even remote connections with the wise King Solomon). I went from hobbies to hobbies and tried many different things, and found that I am ultimately still most drawn to the piano.

The irony? In the 4 attempts to try to learn piano (twice from the same teacher), I never made it pass the first 10 lessons. Har Har. And to think I'd rather kill myself than skip art class/school/dance/canoeing/tutoring/swimming/polo/yougetthegist. Haven't got an explanation for such dissonance though.

(This post was quite intentionally ungrammatical.)

While everyone seems to be doing quite well, I do feel like giving up. I feel like I've taken one step forward and 2 steps backward. Circumstances have decided the way I am externally and internally. To some degree, I think I am afraid of all that I'd have to give in order to mediate my plight.

"Maybe I have been living too fast, too restlessly, too feverishly, forgetting to pay attention to what is happening here and now, right under my nose. Just as a whole world of beauty can be discovered in one flower, so the great grace of God can be tasted in one small moment. Just as no great travels are necessary to see the beauty of creation, so no great ecstasies are needed to discover the love of God. But you have to be still and wait so that you can realize that God is not in the earthquake, the storm of the lightning, but in the gentle breeze with which He touches your back."

- Henri J.M.Nouwen, "The Genesee Diary"

我們愛 (讓世界不一樣)
讚美之泉

你和我是天父愛的創造
每個人有最美的夢想
一路上彼此照亮　扶持擁抱
我們的愛讓世界不一樣

我們愛　因神先愛我們
雖你我不一樣
我們一路唱
走往祝福的方向

我們愛　因神先愛我們
心再堅強　也不要獨自飛翔
只要微笑　只要原諒
有你愛的地方就是天堂

Alas, when nobody loves anymore, do you still bother?