praise You when i'm laughing, praise You when i'm grieving
ilovemyJesus!!

hmm.now i'm in a dilema.and i have 2 wks t sort it out bfore application for NJC throu DSA closes.
to go, or not?
well,njc's rly where i want t go.and though the trngs's rly tough, like boot camp, i love it,its pushes us to go on.nothing easy gets us somewhere.i like the trng there.their discipline and determination, being rly focused on goals.and its progressive.if i want t do sth, i want t give my best.do it well.and that's what i see in njc canoeing.

i may tire out and faint after every trng, but i get stronger each time.
and what attacks me previously, won't be able t do so the nxt time.

and this reflects our walk with God alot.our walk with God is nvr easy.bcuz if it was, how can we grow? its a battle every time.and through such battles, we're mould into who God wants us t be.in hebrews 12:2, we're told t "fix our eyes on Jesus", who is our "goal".ultimately, we wanna meet Him is heaven.right? and njc fixes their eyes and energy on their goals too.but anyway.this paragraph is out of point.i mean.yah.its not part of my dilema.

anyway.the prblem with njc is that.being too focused on trng doesnt give me time for myself, and more importantly God.i want God to be my first priority.and i dun know if He'll nod His head and smile if i go t njc.i cant figure at the moment.is this a blessing and opportunity frm God? or is this a trial temptation? could this be a boat i need t put down?

if i can be sure that i WOULD be able t make time for God if i'm disciplined, i will make the choice t apply for the sch.but now, i'm not even confident of being able t do so even if i'm rly disciplined.i've seen the snrs thr.they packed with sch and trng.and even those who are christians, i heard, spend little time with their Father.

dear Daddy, talk to me.i want to put You first.show me what You want of me.Lord, i want to go to NJC.but if its not Your will for me to do so, i will not.i listen to You, Daddy.