Friday, July 22, 2005

i'm coming back to the heart of worship and its all about You, all about You
ilovemyJesus!!


ok.update on nationals.mm.ONEmei/SHOEyun,berns/HEADy,sitty/tabby,zakTHEPRETTYONE, janeTHESHORTONE(oops!) got into the finals.and the rest, a-man-duh!, jiayi, deviana, charlotte, zheng/narmy, huiqin/pras and of course, not to forget, LYNETTE/sijing did CRESCENT proud and brought us glory by ompleting the race and winning themselves.yup.we all gave our best shot, uh-huh?

WELL DONE CRESCENT CANOEISTS! GLORY TO CRESCENT! YOU GAVE YOUR BEST SHOT, AND U'RE ALL WINNERS BABY!

yup.its not the position that matters.u know what matters most.its your efforts.yea?

and i shall elaborate on MY race paticularly.i felt that it was a pity because chances of us(sijing and i) getting into finals were SO high.i'm not sad that i didnt get it, i'm just..mm.feeling pity? (ke3 xi1 in chinese) miss ang thinks its bad luk that i sprained my leg RIGHT before the competition.actually i sprained it on monday.but i still went for trng and the swell got worse.rested on tue and wed, and competition was on thur.and on thur, right bfor my race, while i was getting up the boat, i slipped down the mud and sprained the already sprained ankle.it was kinda painful.while paddling to the start line(at 500m), i wanted to tell sijing to call out, because it was indeed painful.but i thot of everything..what have i been trng for? so much efforts for this day.how can i just..yea.and i shouldnt let sijing down.so i went for the race.and yea..during the race i stepped on the footrest very hard (as of usual.btw, YES U DO NEED UR FOOT FOR CANOEING,WANKERS!) and after crossing about 250m, it was hurting like siao..as if i fractured a bone.but i pushed on and continued to kick and push the footrest while sreaming lah.at tht time we were still 3rd (top 3 gets into finals).but at the last about 70m or so (which is very very little distance) i stopped kicking the footrest and rested my foot.THEN THE DIRETION WENT HAYWIRE! and BGSS caught up and crossed the finishing line (which was so near YET so far) before us by a few seconds.well, it doesnt rly matter bcause i gave as much as i could, though i cant say its my best.my best would have been given if my ankle was fine.another error on my part would be not slowing down my strokes.at the start of the race, sijing kinda told me tht my strokes were too fast and asked me to slow down.but i was so caught up with winning, since GESS and NJC were not too far off yet, i replied "no,cannot!we must be fast!".during trngs, when she asks me to slow down, i would.but..mm.oh well.error on my part here.and last lesson learnt..MOOD.mood is important.never get urself upset/angry over ANYTHING bfore the ompetition.i was mad at a certain penny ang bfore the competition because she claimed that we didnt give our best just because some didnt qualify.but hey!this is nationals, not SDBA..whr we have more space to dominate.i was SOOO mad tht i didnt wanna compete at all.and i was seriously serious about it because i kept thinking i was going to do it FOR HER.and that thought pisses me.and sijing rubbed off bad-mood frm me.right bfore the rae she becamse very depressed that i didnt wna race.and so..yea.mentally we were kinda unprepared.

ANYWAY, i feel that more important are these lessons learnt thn the outcome of the competition.yup.and i dun wan this to mark the END of my crescent canoeing career.i'm going to make this the START of a new career.yup.i've made up my mind to continue with canoeing.i wna complete the incomplete task. (: all for the glory of crescent canoeing team.and if i get a medal/trophy in the future, i will dedicate it to crescent team.and i MEAN this alright.

and today, i've officially stepped down from canoeing in crescent.CRESCENT CANOEISTS: THANKS SO MUCH DARLINGS FOR MAKING UP HALF OF MY SECONDARY SCH LIFE.U ARE MORE THN JUNIORS, MORE THN TEAMMATES TO ME.U ARE SPECIAL TO ME IN YOUR OWN INDIVIDUAL WAYS AND U'LL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THICK AND THIN, RAIN AND SHINE TOGETHER.I'LL NEVER FORGET OUR TIME TOGETHER, BE IT SAD OR GLAD.YOU ALL TAUGHT ME ALOT OF VALUABLE THINGS IN LIFE, LIKE LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP. (: AND YOU ALSO SHOWED ME WHO I RLY WAS, WHAT I AM CAPABLE OF, WHAT I AM NOT.OF COURSE I WISH I COULD STAY IN THE TEAM AND BE WITH YOU ALL FOREVER, BUT I HAVE TO MOVE ON."TRUE FRIENDS NEVER PART, MAYBE IN DISTANCE, BUT NOT IN HEART."NO MATTER HOW FAR OFF WE ARE FROM IN EACH OTHER IN THE FUTURE, YOU WILL ALL STILL BE LIVING IN MY HEART AND MIND.YUP.TAKE CARE EACH OF YOU AND CONTINUE TO DO CRESCENT PROUD! LASTLY, I WILL NOT FORGET OUR FAMOUS HUGS. *HUGS* I LOVE YOU INFINITE RED M&Ms! <3

today i expected a canoeing nationals championship lunch/dinner of some sort but we didnt.well, i guess everyone's tired so i cant blame them.SMILE(: while i was feeling sad about not doing anything for this signifiant day (esp for me), shoee made my day by offering to lunch with me.thn we walked around and bought 2 pairs of earrings.we exchanged one side of each.heh.I LOVE YOU SHOE.u made my day! *HUGS*

i have many new friends! yay! BGSS and GESS mainly.abit late huh..my last day.LOL.oh well. (:

Thursday, July 21, 2005

evermore my heart, my heart will sing.all to You, i live for Your glory
ilovemyJesus!!


AHHHH.tired now.tdy's ompetition went off pretty smoothly.shall post tmr.i'm DEAD BEAT. (:

ALL THE BEST TO CRESCENT [+ BGSS] CANOEISTS TMR FOR THE FINALS BABY!

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

i once was lost but You found me, and now i'm free
ilovemyJesus!!


tdy is a pretty fine day.though hasymah aka ashma told me to go home straight after sch t rest my foot..hee.i went to qnsway with amanda and peizheng.crapped and ate alot.such things JUST gotta happen with amanda around.

mm.anw, i sprained my ankle.its kinda bad i think.because this time it hurts on the 2nd day though the previous ones didnt rly hurt much on the 2nd day.it only hurt when u press the swollen part or apply too much pressure.but plainly walking now can cause discomfort. )X

the previous SDBA canoeing competition, i sprained my foot just before the compatition.and now, before nationals, i sprained my foot again.and this time its worse.because i sprained it ytd morning and went for trng in the afternoon.yukee says the swell has gotten bigger.

Lord, renew and restore my ankle.i put my trust in You.i knw i'll be fine by thursday.amen!

with regards to the "snappy"(as some would call it) attitude ytd..i wun say much.i dun wanna explain myself here, because it'll seem like i'm unreasonably demanding and accusing.if ure sincere, if u knw me well enough..u should knw better.i am angry, dissapointed and hurt.

thx to shoee and ONEmei anyhows. XD

oh oh oh! it was funny! i'll tell u wht was funny.i was kinda mad at shoee for "not being thr when i needed her" so when she smsed me in the bus, i was like..very cold twards her.thn after tht she explained to me what she was feeling rly and i was so embarrassed for the misunderstanding and guilty for accusing her.so our smses were like..
me: friends?
shoee: lollipop? (because she bought me a lolly! aww)
me: u might wna move one seat to ur left (which was were i was sitting la!)
while we were both trying to hold out laughter, we looked at each other.and out of the cold silence, our laughter pierced thru.people in the bus must be thinking tht we're psychotic..laughing out loudly so suddenly.

oh well.i confidently say..SHOE's THE ULTIMATE GIRLFRIEND BABY! XD

Sunday, July 17, 2005

to You i lift my soul, my God, i trust in You
ilovemyJesus!!


i was kinda angry when as i logged into blogger, intending to vent my anger.but on my com, Enter In [planet shakers] was playing.and it said, "to You i lift my soul, my God, i trust in You."that is my promise to God.i dun wna dissapoint God again.lift my soul to God.like ytd rixiang said, "..to offer Your bodies as living sacrifaces, hoy and pleasing to God.this is your spiritual act of worship."[romans12:1]my life is God's, not mine.

well.what happened was..we needed the microsoft office cd which was at my uncle's houes at admiralty.and i didnt wanna go.i wanted my sis to go.or at least go with me.but my sis was going to meet her friends and she said:"why cant u just go yourself?"though thr was nth wrong saying tht, i was just angry.i rly didnt feel like going out, much less all the way to admiralty which is at the other end of singapore.

but as i logged on to blogger, i heard the song.and i felt so guilty for allowing devil to work in me.besides, even if i get angry, what good can happen? NOTHING.i will STILL have to go anyway.felt so stupid not realizing this earlier.satan is the father of lies, blinder of truth.

another thing that has been bothering me is application to SAJ.when ms ang broke the news about us being wanted by sajc, i was like:"dun evn thnk! i wun take part in DSA." but thn i went home and thought abt it.th reason why i didnt accept njc's offer was because i was afraid i couldnt cope.but sajc, its not as stressful and people there are not exactly the creme of the crope, though it is still a good JC.and i think i'll be able to cope thr well enough.but thn again, i dun rly knw my standards.i mean, if i apply to go thr, it means tht i'm limiting myself ot one jc without evn knowing wht are my real choices.i mean, wht if i take my olvls and realize i CAN make it for njc, tht i'm rly worthy of tht JC.SIGH.

to go or not to go? tmr's the dateline.

Friday, July 15, 2005

You took the fall, and thought of me above all
ilovemyJesus!!


after chinese olvl listening compre tdy, i rushed to sijing's class and got her and both of us scurried to macritchie.the very second we reached, the lil blue alligators were crawling up the platforms alrdy.yes, our boats, that is.which means also tht trng has ended.s sijing and i went to macritchie to waste our bus fare, carry boats and get drenched in the rain.oh well.and i forgot to steal biscuits frm the shed today. )X

LOL.

shoee's funny.the other day she told me about Churros in australia.
"they called them straight donuts.stupid people." HAHAHAHA.it was funny!speaking of which, i had churros TWICE this week.YUM.*smack lips* tdy i had strawberry & banana crispy mini-churro.it wasnt good.)X should have stuck with caramel.oh well.thn after churros, we went to tiongbahru plaza.i wanted to eat bread from BREADTALK [yes.bread!(X] but upon seeing the horribly LOOONG queue.we dropped the idea.we setteled for mac fries instead.i also found out that shoee is very protective of her belongings.so much so tht she didnt put down her bag went she sat down to eat fries.MMM.

heard frm shoee about the grt improvements we made.our T1 500m achieving a 2:52 for 500m, and our T2 750, a 4:22.which is rly rly remarkable.recently i checked the timings frm march's SDBA competition.realized tht some of our rowers are actually better thn national team standard! amazing.

tmr is grace[yeo]'s bday and the day after is zhixin's.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRACE[YEO] + ZHIXIN! XD

i'm rly happy now.because i've patched up with Jesus.(:

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

there is nothing like, there is nothing like, Your love, Your love
ilovemyJesus!!


indeed, there is nothing like God's love.without it, u feel so awful.like right now.i feel so horrid.i got to admit i've been too BUSY for God.and BUSY means Being Under Satan's Yoke.i've taken so many steps away from God.i realize that its not God who is missing.its me who have walked away.

in the past, i can be put in a situation where people would splash paint all over our house because we were in debt yet still feel joyful and still be able to praise God.but i think i might have lost the joy.because now, even if you give me $1000000, i'ld still feel this awful, this emptiess and anger in me.

God please take this away.i'm sorry i have broken Your heart God.i ask You to forgive me.God i know i dun deserve this.God i'm sorry.Father i pray and ask for Your open arms.God i'm sorry.i'm sorry.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

so i look to You, so i look to You, no one else will do, no one else will do
ilovemyJesus!!


FLASHERS are the most traumatizing and horrifying things that ever walked the universe.and i just saw one after trng tdy. =/ i think he/they was/were from chinese high, since they were wearing a yellow singlet.AHHHHHH.sick.i saw the guy in his grey underwear.
OH YUCK OH YUCK OH YUCK OH YUCK OH YUCK OH YUCK OH YUCK OH YUCK OH YUCK
ok.see, tdy it rained.so trng ended earlier because the siren went off and we were not allowed to paddle when thr was thunder and lightning.so.yes.and of course the toilets were crowded like anything.and some smart-alec group of (most probably chinese high) guys went to the back of the toilet WHEN THE BACK OF THE TOILET CAN BE CLAERLY VIEW BY THOSE WALKING IN/OING OUT THE MAIN EXIT/ENTRANCE WHEN THEY TURN LEFT(FOR PEOPLE GOING OUT LAH).and i happened to be enjoying my lovely time with shoee, berns and siti when i JUST had to turn left.and this is it:
me:*turns left by accident* AHHHHHHHHHH!
**berns + shoe + siti turns**
me: FLASHER! YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK! FLASHERS FLASHERS!*horrified upon seeing a guys butt tightly wrapped by a grey underwear/brief/panty(?!)*
**berns + shoee + siti laughing/screaming but disgusted as well**
**flashers/smart-alecs laughing like some unstoppably psycho HYENAS**
me: FLASHERS! HOW SHAMELESS! FLASHERS!!!!! YUCK YUCK YUCK AHHHHHHH! HOW CAN U ALL FLASH IN FRONT OF AN INNOCENT YOUNG SECONDARY SCH GIRL LIKE ME?! YUCK YUCK YUCK!
berns: DUN FLASH IF U DUN HAVE A HOT BOD! (?!)
**us- left feeling utterly disgusted**
OH MAN.i tell u i'm traumatized.i AM traumatized.i need mental help.
OH YUCK OH YUCK OH YUCK OH YUCK OH YUCK OH YUCK OH YUCK OH YUCK OH YUCK OH YUCK

but well, on the good side of today, since trng ended early, I WENT TO FAREAST TO DO GUESS-WHAT?! (no, not flash of course) I ATE CHURROS! hee.i had the mini-churros, strawberry glazed.YUMS.*lick lips* berns had mini-churros, caramel glazed while shoee had what i ate the other time, caramal filled LARGE churro.MMM.JOY TO THE WORLD. XD XD XD

thn i went home to shuyun.HA.love her loads man.she gave me this 2 cute lil boxes of bubble gum and insisted tht i kept thm.shoee is special to me, unlike other jnrs.she isnt the sort who open expresses love, but through lil acts here and thr, show how much appreciation and loves she feels.though we suan each other now and then, deep down, we cherish each other like caramel filled LARGE churros. (; i love shoee! thx for ur letter AND gum. XD

i think every canoeist is special to me in her own ways.but amanda once said tht if everyone is special, thn it'll all not be special anymore.but tht's not true.i love u all for different things.u are ALL different and speical to me in different ways, all lovable.LOVE<3

and tdy sth embarassaing happend in canoeing.i will not blog about it because it is far too embarrassing, to the extent of me wanting to quit canoeing right now to be spared from the akwardness during trngs.SIGH.total embarrassment.): wish i can explain things but..HAI!

oh wells.tdy's been a FUN FINE day.YUP.berns and i were at our silly faces thing again, freaking people out by acting retard.and counting our MASH fate for fun.LOL.berns' going to grow up to become a photocopy auntie, married to a pokpok-keh, having her wedding at the policestation (?!) and honeymoon in MY kitchen.LOL.oh, they have a SHED for house and JAGUAR for a car.not too bad i think..oh yes.she'll have ten children,but she'll kill all of them.HA.OKAY.all this is not going to be real ANYWAY.pls dun be dumb enough to believe it.we were just having fun. =D okok.this is getting draggy.so.TAAAA!

OH YUCK OH YUCK OH YUCK OH YUCK OH YUCK OH YUCK OH YUCK OH YUCK OH YUCK OH YUCK XD