okayy. lydia just smsed. she is back. yeppx. after so long. haha. so anw. WELCOME BACK, LYDIA!!

lolx. my two baby cousins staying here tonight. cuz their parents wun be free tmr. so my mum, as the usual nice person, decided to help. samuel's sick. sad. he keeps crying. and very loudly. hehx. k. today woke up at 2pm++. quite pro. ate. and ate. watched tv. did a teeny weeny bit of hw. thn went out with my sis. thn went to cut her hair. it looks much better now. more sporty. short crop. lalalal. saw cheryl. she giving out pamphlets. spoke to her for a while. haha. she asked me to take more pamphlets frm her. hahaha. lalalalala. typing this as i am on the double-decker bed. the top level. in a very awkard position. hard to type. k. shall end here. heheheh

heh-loh. bwahaha. today.hahahaha. very unforgettable. anywayx. wad happened was. went church with grace as usual. thn after tt rushed of for my pri sch thing. thn waited for 3274t6176432174817418 years for thm. hehehe. thn left for sentosa. everyone at first not talking to each other. at all. absolute silence. but thn after awhile. started to talk liao. haha. i was sort of like the ice breaker. cuz i started to throw sand at brandon. thn dun noe wad happen. we nearly got into a 'sand-ball' fight. haha. but didnt. thn aiyah. slowly slowly everyone opend up. hahaha. thn aiyah. dun want to go into details. hehe. um. pushed each other into the water. n brandon pushed me 7247461o46918364986187417 times lorhx. i honestly dun noe wad is his problem. everytime 'zhen dui' me one. haha. i think is cuz i throw sand at him. thn tried to push weiyue n engkeong down. aiyah. etc etc. cuz i very lazy to type up everything. but in short, it was fun. yepp. =) thn after tt went to harbour frnt to eat cuz i was dying of hunger. ate. brandon as usual, was being a. um. loser. haha. aiyah. no larhx. actually he is quite nice one. i was abit mean to him though. n he was like asking practically everyone on the bus:"am i really a loser?" i didnt know. until eng keong told me. hehe. thn. haha. um. ate. walked arnd. bickerd with brandon. etc etc. after tt went to suntec. played truth or dare. haha. i think when playing i was really abit guo fen to brandon. although i meant it as a joke larhx. but still. haha. abit guilty. thn after tt alot of ppl left. so end up. only me weiyue, eng keong and kenneth. wanted to go watch movie. but thn. i think no show. is it? i forgot. so wanted to go another theatre. thn when we leaving. there's this statue like thing there. which is actually a human. it moved. n it was walking behind engkeong. thn when i turn back n saw it. i screamed very very very very loudly and frequency very high also. n ran away. n i scratched weiyue. haha. accident. thn everyone looked at weiyue n eng keong n kenneth cuz i ran away liao. hahahahaha. so scary lorhx. actually, engkeong alrdy told me tt was a human liao. but thn ah. hahahaha. aiyah. i just. dun noe larhx. hehehe. thn went to tbp. no show also. went to great world. no show also. so walked arnd. n kenneth kept complaining his leg what. jelly. very tired. etc etc. thn haha. i was walking around. thn he kept complaining cuz i couldnt make up my mind. hehehehe. thn in the end. after walking all around. settled at mac. n kenneth kept complainng. say want to change place. cuz mac. the colors "very boring". he was facing the pale brown wall. hahaha. really very boring. weiyue n i facing the bright side. hehe. talk talk talk. n more talking. thn. until 1030++. wanted to go 7eleven. could go out cuz the door was locked. thn walked one big round back to where we came from to go finally go out. wow. haha. engkeong's great idea. haha. thn. um. so. went out. sent weiyue home. haha. walked to her house. it was further thn i expected. haha. thn engkeong n kenneth walked me home. haha. like my bodyguards liddat. at first i thot engkeong is very shy one. in the end. he's not very lah. just a teeny weeny bit. haha. he younger thn me by about a month. but he said tt i was like. his younger sister liddat. bwahahaha. i know i very short larhx. but ah. only difference of 5cm frm him. haha. nvm. so anw. he talked. i listend. thn like tt lorhx. sent me home. by foot. thn they walked home. hahaha. i reached home at nearly 12. hahahaha. thn bathed and came online. hehehehe. k. enough. shall end here. yeppx. toodles!

i. am. so. insaned. madd. busted. no. not tt. but. arghs.. i made appointment with 2 ppl tmr. n plus church with grace, tt would be. 3. wow. i have church. frm 8.30-10.30. i promised to go n support my cousin for her play tmr. 9-11plus. n tt is at kranji. need to add 1hr of travelling time. i have. a. old class gathering tmr. 10am at harbourfront. arghs. n they are all. IN THE MORNING!!!!!! i am so over my head. i want to go to church tmr. becuz it's the first time i'll be gg with grace agn since she came back frm her trip. but i promised. repeat: PROMISED my cousin. to go. andddd. the class outing. arghs!! i cannt not go. which means. i MUST go. bcuz. i just have to. arghsssss!! nvm

anyway. went to lib with zx n grace n her mum n bro today. haha. didnt see her mum n bro. =C but nvm. haha. made alot of noise as usual. =p and the story-teller at the library. was.. sccaarrryyyy. haha. and somemore. after the storytelling session. when all the kids come out of the room. few of them were. crying. *gasps* bwaha. so drama. k larhx. i'm crapping. but got children cry anw. but not cuz of the storyteller. hehehe. thn we 'ban jia' to macdonalds. bwaha. zx trested me lorhx. i dun noe y she suddenly so nice also. hehehehe. anyway. zx. if u EVER get to read this. hehe. THANKS. hehe. n the guy at the counter insisted to give me the happy meal toy. n i was like. dun wan dun wan. keep telling him i dun wan. n he was like. nonono. must take. so i took it anyway. haha. the guy very frenly. not dao like nowadays teens. but nvm. anyway. thn graced fixed the crush gear toy for me. n i started to play with it. hahaha. n grace n zx were like:"macdonalds sure made children happy with their happy meals." thn i saw the balloons. n i said:'aye. got balloons. i want!!" n zx said:"and they sure made children happy with their free balloons." haha. but i didnt take any in the end. sad... haha. n this grace ah. i want to murder her man.. she ah! the world's most unreasonable woman. hahaha. she.. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA. nw as i think of it. i cant stop laughing. BWHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHA. this sure is one of the funniest thing tt every happened in my entire life. funny and fun. anyway. what happend was. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. okayy. i cant write it down. firstly, it would be very long. cuz the si-called 'procedure' itself was alrdy very long. secondly, i cant type properly when i'm laughing. but anyway. i alrdy am. hehe. thirdly. its too complicating to be typed out. but anyway. it all happend cuz grace WOULDNT let me go to the toilet n we sorta fought in macdonald's hehehe. n ppl were looking. no. starrrrrring. to be more exact. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA. zx should know. BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. thn alot of funny things happened larhx. considered one of my best moments in life. hahaha. nv been crazier in public. did alot alot of stupid stuffs. cant type everything out here. the list goes on. really alot alot alot of funny things. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHA. kayyx. n zx got my a TIGGER PLUSHIE. yayy. hahaha. n i got her a TIGGER cup. both bought frm same place same shop. same day also. but we didnt go tgt. bwahaahahaha. so cute. the tigger. n she specially bought the ORANGE IKEA box. so sweet right? i was like. 'OMG!' when i saw tt box. n inside the tigger. really reminded me of grace's present. sigh. nvm. what is gone is gone anyway. thn she got me an orange scrunchie also. hehehe. on tht tigger's neck. she tried to strangle it. murderous. hahaha. aiyah. if i really write down every single thing i want to. i write until next yr also havent finish. so. suan le. i shall just rmb it myself. C=

"Why hold someone back... when u know u don't love them...
Why keep them to yourself... when u know you won't wanna have them?
Why let them miss other chances...when they can have them?
If you really don't love someone....let them go...hurt them NOW... not later...for a longer relationship builds stronger emotions..."

ripped tt off grace's brother terry's blog. i dun evn know why i went there. i never went there before. except for once. when grace wanted to show me sth. today... i dun noe. i click wrongly. but didnt decide to stop the page frm loading. thn. i saw tt quote. i'm still trying to understand it actually. but decided to post it here. cuz. i thot this... sounds very familiar. it seem to happen all the time. on tv. at least. shall not write my thots here. haha. ltr atmosphere will seem very 'cheng zhong'. hehx. actually. my blog isnt really fun to read. cuz its. just what i do everyday. its like a video of my life. u can only see it.just see it.yah. hahaha. abit cheng zhong. k. nvm. but anyway. the main purpose of the 2nd post. is. haha. just to share tt quote. yepp.

booooooO! kayyx. today. is boxing day. bish bish bish. no. not tt. hahahaha. k. nvm. this is really lame. anywayx.
HAPPY BOXING DAY!
kayyx. ytd's night party at my auntie's house was. ahem. fun. hahahahaha. this yr's christmas is so bugeted. hahahaha. nvm. anwx. my sis n i were NOT paid this yr for the party. sigh. hahahaha. but nvm. we had fun anyway. hehx. watched what a girl wants there. hehehehehe. my idea obviously. C= thn aiyah. too lazy to go into details. thn. went hm late at night. thn. hahahahahaha. got a few ppl on the mrt gave my sis n i strange looks on the mrt. i think they thinking we are crked. cuz i was lying on my sis' shoulders. tired mah. thn my sis dun look like my sis. n she doesnt look older also. in fact, some ppl thot i was the older one. haha. plus ytd i dressed more feminine thn usual n my sis was as usual, tomboyish. hahaha. so funny. we walking hm also. we were holding hands. n ppl were looking. no- STARING. haha. k. thn today supposed to go to my cousin's house. smsed her in the morning telling her i'm not gg anymore. didnt feel like gg out. i dun wanna go out until sch reopens. but thn will be gg out tmr. to lib. sigh. tt one. is MUST go. cuz i need to copy homework frm grace. hahaha. talked to zx on the phone just now. hahahahahaha. we both ah... talk to each other can talk never ending one. cuz we both dun wan to listen to each other. hahahaha. no. we weren't chatting. we were debating. abt nearly everything. hahaha. so funny. kayyx. my brother n i. better liao. but sometimes. still abit. dun noe larhx. but anyway. nvm. n my dad. i dun noe. spoke to him today finally. asked him to help me open the fridge door cuz my hands were full. i dun speak to him often. ytd night on the mrt, my sis told me tt she didnt seem to ever hear my speak to my dad before. hahaha. i dun noe larhx. its not as if i have nth to lose. aiyah. complicated. hahaha. shall not talk abt tt. haha. my sis told me alot of stuffs ytd night. alot of things about myself i didnt realize. honestly, i would have preferred it if she didnt tell me anything at all. tt i didnt realize anything at all. cuz. aiyah. nvm. complicating agn. hahahah. okayy. shall end here. supposed to meet weiyue online. n she is.... hm... after 45mins. she's still NOT online. sigh...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!
BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA. i'm so insane. i said merry christmas to everyone on my msn list just now. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. k. actually. its. 11mins and 12,13,14,15 now 17 more secs to christmas. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. anywayx. today went to give tuition with my sis. i need to learn how to. cuz. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. i gg to officially have my own student soon!! WHEEEEEEEEE! so excited. n my pay i think higher thn my sis. hehehe. i dun noe larhx. cuz my sis supposedly $240.but thn dun noe y my aunty give her discount. now is $180 only. i think. or $190. mine will be $200. but thn must give my mum some of the money. so i think i left with abt $100++ only. hehe. better thn nth. my student... very tiring. is teach nearly everyday one. cuz my mum sort of taking care of him. somewhat babysit. but he is only one year younger thn me. thn i like his. 24hour teacher liddat. he need me thn come to me one. so i must be ready 24/7. sad right? hehehe. but got money. C= anywayx. so after tt. went out with my cousins and sis. oh yah! on my way there. cuz i joined thm ltr mah... i saw. i saw. gulp* HUGO! bwahahahhaa. so funny. i think he didnt see me. i not sure whether is him anot. but i think so. looks really like him lorhx. and everything else... i dun noe larhx. looks just like him. i think its him anyway. and its at the same place i saw him the other time on esther's birthday. hehehehe. at the same place, same bus. i really think its him lorhx. bwaha. but i think he didnt see me. n even if he did. i dun think he can recognize me. hehehehe. so. nvm. haha. so coincidential lorhx. i mean. its not as if he lives there or sth. okayy. i dun noe. maybe. maybe he does. afterall, i've seen him 2 times there. haha. and u know. in a lifetime. its hard to ever meet someone once coincidentially. much harder to meet someone TWICE. bwahahaha. okayy. nvm. anyway. so. went out ltr. thn went home. celebrated my brother's bday. wanted to eat at a restaurant. but my brother against the idea. he says its expensive. so we just bought KFC the family meal thing. thn got him 3 t shirts and the jeans. thn yah. just simple celebration larhx. thn wrapped up my cousin's presents in. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. mahjong paper. cuz no one wanted to go downstairs to buy the wrapping paper. all very tired and lazy. so i suggested using mahjong paper. hahaha. thn cleared the stuffs. thn came. MY student's mum. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. MY student. my very first official one. last time my mum only let me take over her students part time. not fun one. hahaha. lalalala. i was quite rude. i mean. i didnt mean to. i was watching charmed. thn seemed rude. dun noe if she will let me teach her son. hehehehehehe. but anyway. she seems like a nice person. haha. so. lalala. but thn. for the first time. i'm not feeling very confident. there is alot of pressure. firstly, the guy is ONLY one year younger thn me. he may very well know ALOT ALOT more stuff thn me. since i have very little exposure. secondly, i heard tt the guy is quite smart. and since he is quite smart alrdy, its hard to pull his marks up. i mean. i dun noe larhx. aiyah. somemore his worse area is science. WHICHED I ALMOST FLUNKED THIS YEAR!!! my gosh. but nvm. i shall try. hahaha. let's just... keep our fingers crossed and wish me luck. no. i mean. wish HIM luck. C=

heyy. haha. today. was. shuang. haha. ate alot of twisties. and. hehehehe. durian. i suddenly got craving. so went with my mum to buy. at chinatown. u know the famous one behind CK? yah. haha. actually wanted to buy frm geylang. there nicer. but ah. i lazy to go. hehehe. i pity my poor mother. go with me. she carry all the 4 big durians. cuz i dare not. n i not evn close to the durian i kept screaming. cuz the durian like poking my mum liddat. haha. so funny. the whole chinatown looking at my mum n i. bwahaha. thn we smuggled the durian up the bus. heh heh heh. the smell very strong lorhx. but. hahahaha. i think the driver got blocked nose. hehehe. was reluctant to go at first. cuz. got alot of mosquitoes. haha. recently just want to laze around at home. n munch on twisties and cocoa pops. hahahaha. anyway. so. ate. ate. ate. oh yah. ate chicken chop agn. hahaa. so nice lorhx. today the chicken. hahaa. aiyah. dun noe how to say. its SOOOOOOOOO nice. thn. the durian also. D24 sultana or sth liddat. omg. i can faint lorhx. i ate more thn half of wad we bought. hahahaa. n my mum was freaked out at how much i could eat. hehehehe. so funny. she was like:"aiyoh! ni bu yao xia si ren la. wei she me ke yi chi dao zhe yang duo de huh? wo dou bu ke yi leh...". so funny. n the way she say it. haha. oh yah. spent alot of time laughing today. cuz of all the funny things my mum and sis n brother said. my brother was telling us wad happend in NS. SO FUNNY LORHX!!!! haahaha. and my sis. hahahahahahahahaha. omg. thn. aiyah. dun noe larhx. i like today blog until very disorganised liddat. nvm. dun want to blog lerhx. i shall go. um. do my homework i guess. hahaha. dun noe larhx. no mood. nvm.

heyy. grace is back. hehx. so happy. she just smsed. n i'm freezng! the weather is sooooo cold. i'm sneezing like nuts. kayyx. just got my pullover. feel so warm n comfoartable. i love my pullover. hehx. ytd's trng was not bad. got alot of tides n waves. n i screamed a few times. haha. really strong wind ytd. n i capsized. haha. n this sji guy came to help. he didnt seem very happy larhx. said i will damage THEIR canoe. but nvm larhx. we got our canoes liao. finally. they happy we happy. hehx. fair and square. after trng went to bath.thn went eat with huiqin at tbp. ate KFC. haha. these few days dun really care abt my diet lerhx. dun noe y also. bcame a big lazy big who eat n slp all day. i think its cuz of the weather. keep slping. hehx. hibernating. anw. was with huiqin. thn she finally ate her tang yuan after so many weeks. haha. n i didnt eat. n i forgot to pay her $0.60. haha. must rmb. thn. today. woke up. saw my dad cutting the vegetables. rushed back to bed. or else he will surely ask me to cut it. haha. so i officially woke up after he finished. hehx. AGRHHHH! omg. grace the sms very scary u know. *phew* [wipes sweat off brows. BWAHA. so drama]anyway. so. went to church with mum today. thn went qnsway. bought my uniform. haha. thn. thn. thn came home. slpt. haha. and thn ARGHHHH!!!! zhixin's sms even scarier. okayy. nvm. anyway. so. i woke up. and munched on twisties. haha. i ate 4 pckts of twisties today. so shuang. hahahaa. i think my teeth dropping lerhx. bwaha. n i ate 2 pckts of gummy candies. hahaha. christmas spirit. bwaha. thn. thn. orh. forgot. um. came hm frm qnsway i bathed first. thn slp. haha. i like writing. my life story liddat. thn watched addams family values. so nice. i love addams family. they're like. one sadistic bunch lorhx. SO FUNNNYYYYY! especially wednesday. i think she's chio lorhx. i mean. if she doesnt dress up to freakily. but. anyway. she still looks gd freakish. hahahahahhaa. okayy. i write alot liaox. shall end here. MERRY CHRISTMAS AND GOOD NIGHT! bwaahahaha. BWAH!!!!!! GRACE SMSED AGN. i am so freaked out....

yooohooo! hehx. woke up extra early this morning. 6.30am. n i slept at like. 3am? haha. i seriously need to go back on medication for hyperactiveness. BWAHAHHAHAHAHA. anyway, went to qiqi's house today. [for those suakus= qiqi is my canoe senior] went to do the orientation thing. which in the end. sigh. nvm. supposed to meet sijing at 8.30 at buona vista cuz she dun noe where is holland v. ** okayy. nvm. there are such ppl around. just hope she doesnt read this. and if she does. hope she doesnt get offended. haha. anyway. so went there. met qian yun at burger king. met melissa at the busstop. thn. went to qiqi's house tgt. hahah. her house very big lorhx. i mean. compared to mine. haha. thn spent the entire time there shaping candles. so hard to shape okay. do for so long only 8 candles done. wow. so decided to give up the idea. haha. sighh. jq pon alot of times liao lorhx. honestly, i. dun noe larhx. i think she shouldnt pon lorhx. i mean. she say she need to pei her cousins. thn she can still go out with me n zx. its very unfair i think. but. sigh. i cant do anything abt it. i dun want to be labelled a backstabber or anything. just bcuz i was to um. righteous? haha. guess so. anyway. so. there is trng tmr. i so tired!!!! came home frm qq's house. bathed. thn went out with my mum n sis. ate alot. cuz my mum's treat. feeling fat now. bwahaha. got my brother a pair of jeans cuz his birthday is on the 24th. thn. lalalala. went to eat. shop. eat. window shop. eat. walk. eat. lalalalalalla. eat alot. thn on the way home there was this cat which kept following my mum somehow. n i kept running away frm it. n i was stuck at the staircase for so long cuz the cat. hahahaha. cuz the cat was sitting there. thn went hawker centre. to eat. agn. bwahahahaha. okayy.thn i came home first. so can use the com awhile. kayy. my sis n mum back liao. gtg. bye!

okayy. given up. anyway. i forgot sth very important. now is tmr liao. so its maxie's birthday. which means, ytd, which is today, i mean. ugh. 18th. is dawn's bday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAWN
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAXIE!
muackies to the 2 princessess. zhang da lerhx. finally. hahahahahahahaa. okayy. yepps. may all ur wishes come true. hehx

jiaqi. jiaqi. JIAQIIIIII!arghs! where the heck are u? okayyx. nvm. desperately looking for jq. n she is not at home. nv pick up hp. nv reply my sms. ugh!! nvm nvm nvm...
kayyx. played badminton today. 3hrs. can die. hahahahahahaha. played at night. all the pros there. wah lau. they really ah... can go for SEA games liao. they really very very pro lorhx. somemore so old liao. and one of thm is the ex-principal of my sis's sch. hahahahaha. actually. big deal. suan lerhx. aiyah! nuts! i gg to look for jq liao. bye bye!

marshmallow crap. i feel so sick again. sigh. haha. was tempted to call in to perf 10 agn. today is tanya thomas. =D not bad also. she quite nice larhx. hehe. just not experienced. anw. all the same, i'm nt gg to. bcuz i have sorethroat n i will sound terrible. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. okayy. cut the crap. went for breakfast at mac with mum this morning. so full lorhx. the hotcakes. i forced it down okayy. and the hashbrown. n i cooped mum's sausage mcmuffin with egg. haha. very fat now. hahahahaha. k. nvm. shall continue to rot. supposed to go my cousin's hse. lazy to. my sis just called frm there. hahahaahhahaha. sianx. PMSing away...

WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO! i made a dedication at perf ten all request live just now. call-in. AND I SPOKE TO JEAN DANKER!!! SHE'S SO NICE OKAYYY!!!! and she asked me to relax. n told me what to say. cuz she could tell i was nervous. n we rehearsed a few times lorhx!! it was played on um. 3.40pm. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. i feel like a lucky pig lorhx. its very hard to get in one lorhx. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. JEAN DANKER ROCKX! =D i'm still at it. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. it was, like, damn cool? BWAHAHAHAHAH. okayy.
anyway. went to library with zx n jq. after tt went jq's hse. thn called. n BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. omg. i got thru lorhx!!!!!! =D BWAHAHAHHAAHA. this is nuts! hahahahahahha. okayy. so anyway. i'm back home now. hahahahahahaha. i think maybe i call in agn tonight. hehx. =D dun noe larhx. stay tuned anyway. =D

yawnx. had abit of fever just now. feeling much better now. panadol really works wonders. bwahahahaha. k. talk cock. sianx. tmr dunnoe whether i wanna go out with jq n zx anot. jq askd me if i wanted to. i told her if she sees me, thn i'm gg. if not, thn i'm not. sigh. PMS. dun feel like gg out. just wanna chill at home. is it wrong? and i dun noe larhx. my sis also asked me to hang out with her tmr. n my cousin. sigh. supposed to go n pei her. which one to go? or should i just. haha. stay at home. i'ld be happier tt way. but thn ah. cannt live against my conscience. AIYAH! NUTS! nvm. i feel so. caught. BWAHAHAHAHHA. nvm. shall. just. decide tmr. yeppx. but thn right. if i go out with any of thm, i'll feel guilty to the other 2. so its like. a lose-lose situation. n since no matter what also will feel guilty, i might as well stay at home n be merry. aiyah. dun noe larhx. let's just. work it out tmr.

heyy-. i've recovered frm fever. but thn i still sneezing and coughing. and my throat hurts. gg to tbp with my sis ltr. haha. she watching some stupid show on kidscentral now. hehx. so funny. "the wheels on the bus go round and round."BWHAHAHAHAHAHA.nvm
evanesence-my immortal is so nice. i repeated the song for more than 23456787654567321484587942 times liao.

My Immortal- Evanesence

I'm so tired of being here,
Supressed by all my childish fears,
and if you have to leave,
I wish that you would just leave,
Cause your presence still lingers here,
and it won't leave me alone,

These wounds won't seem to heal,
This pain is just too real,
There's just too much that time cannot erase,

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,
When you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears,
and I held your hand through all of these years,
But you still...have...all of me,

You used to captivate me,
by your resignating light,
now i'm bound by the life you left behind,
Your face it haunts,
my once pleasant dreams,
your voice it chased away,
all the sanity in me,

These wounds won't seem to heal,
this pain is just to real,
there's just too much that time cannot erase,

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears,
and I held your hand through all of these years,
but you still...have...all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that your gone,
but though you're still with me,
I've been alone all along,

When you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears,
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears,
and I held your hand through all of these years,
but you still...have...all of me


okie dokie. gotta go! bye bye-

booooo! trng was great today. nearly died. bwahaha. no larhx. felt very very sick while rowing. stopped at my 6km. rested. thn continued my other 4km. thn after tt break. did another 8km. today did 18km. shuang. usually 16km only. hehx. if u keep telling urself u can do sth, u really can do it. hehx. finally caught this um. theory? yepp. thn as usual. bathed. n left. reached hm. went for lunch with my mum n sis at lian eng hwa restaurant. hehx. shuangx. ate chicken chop. big plate lorhx. cannt finish. so in the end. i only ate the chicken. the egg, fries etc all my mum n sis help me eat. actually the chicken i also force it down one lorhx. so u can imagine how big plate it was larhx. anw. after tt did abit of shopping. felt sick. went hm. have fever agn. sianx. n i havent evn recovered frm flu. ughs... this is nuts. i feel like a walking sneeze machine. hehx. talking abt sneezing. hehx. i nearly capsized today cuz i stopped to sneeze. bwahahahaha. but i didnt. didnt capsize for the whole day. i think qiqi's paddling is very nice. i'm trying to learn it. hard to. hehx. since last last session i alrdy thot her movements were good. hm. dun noe larhx. i keep observing others. i alrdy know the correct way. but i cant seem to do it rightly. n i dun get the part about using the body's strength instead of the hand's. jiaolian says i use too much of my arm's strength. will try to work on the body strength thing... n improve my strokes. yeppx. k. my mum just made spaghetti. kekx.

sick. so sian. plus tmr got trng. haha. ytd trng was haha. fun. finally saw jiao lian's [coach] eyes. cuz he for once took off his sunglasses. bcuz there was no sun. bwahaha. n i capsized. in the rain. cuz while rowing, the rain water got into my eyes. so i shook my head vigarously. haha. stupid. thn went for my aunt's carolling at beauty world. didnt know how to get there. nearly got lost.hehx. was okayy larhx. thn went to eat. felt sick. so went home with my sis. reached home. immediately went to slp cuz was feeling so sick. woke up this morning with a splitting headache. thn realized i got fever. BWAHAHAHHAA. aiyah. whatever. no mood to blog now. hehx. bye bye

yawnx. i am so tired. i think i shall go n slp. tmr got trng. i cannt be late.

k. i hear 4 sounds now. i hear my brother ranting at my mum. i hear the radio. i hear my typing sound. i hear the phone.
the house is so messy! i swear i've swept the floor for more than 100 times today. every corner. every inch. n i resorted to cleanng it tile by tile agn. BUT IT FEELS SO DIRTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
okayy. madness.
i cant stand it!!! its so dusty lorhx!!!
nvm.
sigh. tmr got trng. sian ah!!!!!!! i think i'm the only pathetic sec 2 who went for every session. ugh! must wake up tmr. 7.30. no. 7.15. nononononono. on the safer side. for in case i late. i think i waking up at 6.30am. sigh. dun noe larhx. i feel so... horrible now. i dun noe wad's wrong. maybe the song on the radio is too depressing. wadever-
n my sis is sweeping the floor agn. even though she thinks its cleaner thn clean. hahaha. at my orders. sigh. i think i need to change my bedsheet tonight. BWAAHAHAHHAHAHA. sigh.

heyyy-. DIARY OF A MAD-MOM-TO-BE RAWKX!!!!!!!!!! dadada. deedeedee. dododo. dum dum. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA> freakingly hilarious.

anyway. woke up too early this morning. time=5.14am. wow. tried to go back to slp. cuz if i wake up to early. means the day will be longer. thn i know today will be very sian. went back to slp. sis woke me up at 9am+++. so angry lorhx. i cannt go back to slp!! thn my sis went out. sigh... so the day was. LOOOONNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

had nth to do. cannt go out. brother sick. must stay at home to take care of him cuz no one else at home. sigh. so i kept eating. bwahahahahahahaha. swept n cleaned the floor. not tile by tile this time. bwahahaha. used the mop. folded the clothes. did the laundry. folded my mum's shorts. i wonder how skinny my mum is. her shorts look so tiny. n the waist tt part. small like. um. small like. i dun noe. just. very small.

called jq. cuz i was too bored at home. talked to her for 2hrs plus. her mum... like. not very happy like tt. sigh.. dun noe larhx. both at fault lah. shant talk much abt it. not here. thn sis came home. decorated the tree tgt. with my brother. hahahaha. so fun. thn halfway they both went to play PS. so nice lorhx. n somemore i'm sensitive to the christmas tree. developing a rash now. itchy itchy...!!! n sneezing like mad. bwahahahaha. my legs are... never tan also red liao. frm all tt scratching... arghs. bwahahahaha. nvm. dun wan to blog liao. so busy. promised to meet jq online before 5. n i didnt go. i feel so guilty. will she think tt i dun care abt her? bwahahaha. anyway. jq: sorry ah. not tt i forgot. i was busy. sorry ah...!

yawns. so sian. i still looking for a pic to put on my blog. bwahaha. n a website to upload the pic to. cuz. geocities one cannt. my angelfire acc. bwaha. dun talk abt it. they say i violate their wadever shit. nvm. i am so tired!!!

my brother still sick. sad-

k. this morning. um. wad happened this morning ah? oh great. i forgot. aiyah. i forgot wad happnd for the whole day lerhx. all i know is... i wanna slp... NOW!!! yawns* nowadays whether very cold. i cover blanket liao. fan not on. aircon not on. windows closed. i still freezing. BWAHAHAAHHAHAHA. yawns... i need some self-amusement. lalalalalalalalala

sigh. zx will be on the plane in a few hours time. will miss her. even though only 3 days. hahaha. tt time camp... also. felt abit weird without her. hahax. smsed her just now. hahax. she so excited lorhx. good for her. haha. zx: must enjoy urself horx. dun freeze there ah. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. she promised to try to find a tiny feng shui mao for me. bwahahah. so sweet right? hehx.

wanted to go to my cousin's hse. where my sis is giving tuition. but thn ah. went up the mrt. took till clementi. got off. took the opposite side. n went home. got off at redhill n walked home. thought abt alot of stuffs. nvm. shall not write here.

did abit of my more thn overdue overdued homework. hahaha. i did 9 maths qns all in all. wow. BWAHAHAHAHAHHA. thn cleaned the floor tile by tile agn. bwahahaha. so shuang... got sense of accomplishment. thn after cleaning. it felt so clean lorhx!!! so i started pacing around the house for nth. cuz it was so clean. hehx. bathed in cold water. came out shivering. went to slp. hahahahaha. thn woke up. ate. packed my wardrope. found alot of clothes tt i din wear for a thousand yrs lerhx. but hack larhx. dump it at the back of my cupboard. hahaha. ate. n ate. n ate. n ate. n came online. bwahahaha. my brother thanked me lorhx! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. [I'm the greatest] BWHAHAHAHA. k. not funny. he thanked me for taking care of him when he's sick. he is getting better liaox.tt day temperature 39.4 liddat. so scary lorhx. bwahahha. thot he got sars. bwahahahahaha. choi. k... sigh. zx so shuang lorhx. nvm. BWHAHAHAHAHAHA. shall end here. byebye-

hurlow! BWHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH. the bbq was fun! with a capital F. BWHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA. was really cool. ate alot too. wanxian's mum is really nice lorh. hahahhaha. n she isnt those sort of... those tt u wudden want to be seen with tt sort. yah. hahahaha. k. thn her brother. one weird guy. can shout frm his house about 1-2 blocks away to the bbq pit saying:"MAMEEE! I WANT 5 FISHBALLS!" yelps. wad a cute guy. k. so. ate. bbqed. mrs liang said i was strong. YAYYYY! BWHAHAHAHAHAHA. i feel like i'm flying. nvm. now my blister burst le. pain. pain. pain pain pain. nvm. yelps. i'm on cloud nine. nine. nine. boing boing boing. yabadabadoooooooooooOOOOOOOO! bwahahahhaha. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! abcedefg. lalalalalala. happy, sha lala, its so nice to be happy, sha lala. WOOOHOOOO! LIFE IS GOOD! LIFE IS GOOD! bwhahahaahha. current song playing on winamp- Life is Good by Junk. YAHOOOOOOOOOO! BWHAHAHAHHAHA. i love everyone. God loves me. i love Him too! GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU! GOD BLESS THE WORLD!!! BWHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA. OSAMA DIE. DIE. DIE. BWHAHHAHAHAHA. saddam die die die die die die. BANG BANG BANG! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. ok. nvm.
anyway. hahaha. bbq was fun. fun fun. lalalalalalalal. food was great. um. raw though. so not so great after all. but ah. everything tastes good when u're HAPPY! BWHAHAHAHAHHAHA. hehx. i'm so high now lorhx. i dun noe y also. i mean. i really dun noe. just now befoer i bathed i still very tired n sian n dun even feel like gg online. bwahahahha. thn after i bath. i suddenly feel so. i dun noe larhx. bwahahahaha. n keep doing alot of lame and stupid but fun things. BWHAHAHAHAHA. ok. nvm. anyway. AHAHAHHAHAHA. SO HAPPY! aiyah. nvm. i dun wanna talk abt the bbq lerhx. so anyway. bbq finish. i went home n bath. n brushed my teeth. *flashes my trademark smile* BWHAHAHAHAHAHA. k. nvm. ok larhx. i dun wanna blog lerhx. waste of time. BWAHHAHAHAHAHA. i shall go n jump off the building. BWAHAHAHAHAHHA. I AM SO HAPPYYYYYY! BWHAHAHA. GOD BLESS ALLL OF YOU!. achoo achoo achoo achoo... **

boOo! bwahahah. k. this is gg to be short cuz i'm gg out liao. bwahaha. so fun! ltr gg to meet zx n jq. after tt gg for the class bbq at wanxian's hse. BWHAHAHAHAHAHA. i cant believe it!! THAT PERSON IS GOING! WOOOHOOO! k. i shant say who. madness. madness. madness! BWHAHAHAHHA. k. nvm.
ytd got trng. thn trn lorhx. aiyah. crap. i'm so excited now!! cannt blog properly. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAH. THAT PERSON IS GOING! ok. chills. anyway anyway anyway. um. yea larhx. thn train. thn go jq's hse. thn wasted her phone bill by not wanting to put down the phone with zx. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH/ k. thn. OMG! THAT PERSON IS GOING! okok. shhhhhhh!. anyway. BWHAHAHAHA. kkk. um. so. left her hse. reachd home at 10pm+++. bathed. n slpt. aiyah. whatever larhx. i am so.....!!! *squeals*
BWHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. i cant believe it!!! BWAHAAHHAHAHAHA. okok. shhhhhhh! i'm so noisy. nvm. k. enough! i zhou le!! bwahahahahahahahahhaha. tata!

ok. i'm back. bwahahaha. forgot to add sth.
CHS GUYS SUCK!
retarded show-offs that look like primary school kids. to think they stooped so low to steal our trolleys and laugh about it. thn realize their trolley cannt be pushd thru. thn load their canoes onto another trolley that WE pushd. thn somemore say what. "help the girls lah. they need more help". freako! we do NOT need help. n even if we do. we do NOT need YOUR help. u bunch of arrogant fags! ugh! n stop showing of ur stewpid break dance moves. in fact, i dun even think tt is break dancing. c'mon lorh. u all suck. i repeat. SUCK. at it. stop ACTING cool. bcuz u all are NOT cool. at. all! n u morons. idiots-
i shall repeat this once more. CHS GUYS SUCK! big time.

yawnx*. slpt just now. woke up at. ARGH! 6.25pm. sad right? only managed to catch the last 5 minutes of "what i like about you". but lucky got amanda. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

bwahahaha. my mum so cute lorhx. today she supposed to go to my brother the passing out parade. thn it starts at 10am. somehow. she thot it was 9am. bwahahaha. n she got up evn earlier thn me. n left after i brushed my teeth. BWAHAHAHAHAHHAAH. so stewpid. she overshot-ted in the bus until the interchange there cuz she was slping mah. thn the interchange is near a polica station. thn the bus driver askd her where she was gg. she said to the 'armour force' there. BWAHA. the driver told her she overshot le. thn dun noe wad she thinking also lah. she saw the policemen at the station there and told the driver:"no lah. [pointing to the police station] havent overshot yet. see all the soldiers here." dOtdOtdOt. -_____________-". BWHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. so cute right. thn in the end the driver told her tt was a police station. n sent her back to the place. BWHAAHAHHAHA. n she reachd there. only to realize tt she was early by 1 and a half hours. BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA. cute right? bwahahahahahhaha. k. gg to have my 2nd dinner now. ciao~

heyyyy-. sigh. today. was. one word. bad. bad. bad. bad. bad. ok. tt was 5 words. but. aiyah. wadever lah. woke up still having abit of fever. 37.8 degrees. went to brush my teeth reluctantly. n ouch. brush until my ulcer bleed. pain lorh. thn went for trng. reached there at 8am when we supposd to meet at 8.30. the place NOT opend. wow. stood outside stupidly. pras came. they opened. went in. thn yah lah. the usual.
i capsized 4 times today. i think i'm a genius. really. either there's sth SERIOUSLY wrong with me or the canoe. usually i dun capsize one lorh. in fact, i din capsize before. thn today. WOAH. 4 times. somemore i had to swim to the shore for 3 times lorh. u know. canoeing. wad's tiring abt it is not when u canoe. its when u capsize. its very tiring when u move about in the water. its worse thn swimmng. cuz u have the stewpid life-vest in ur way. n i did it. 3 times. tired like anything. plus somemore i was a teeny weeny bit sick. thn when i got back on my canoe finally...i had a splitting headache. thn faster row back n rest. bwahahahaha. qiqi is so funny. she said:"our canoe team ah... might as well call "capsize" team". bwahha. cuz sijing capsized countless times. wendy 6 times on the shore while embarking. haha. ke lian. but she can row well. thn adel twice. melissa once. cuz i "hai" her one. i feel very bad lorh.... she capsize is because of me. cuz i was too tired to swim back to the shore. thn she ask me to hold the front of her canoe n she paddle me back. wah lau. the canoe capsized lorh. thn dun noe wad happend... i think flipped too many times or sth like tt. thn her canoe inside all water... n it started to sink. shit like anything k. melissa, joanne, qiqi n i had to drag it. heavy like anything. thn empty water tt time even worse. too heavy. cannt evn carry up. thn we finally used qiqi's idea to flip it sideways first thn managed to empty water in the end. i feel so sick n tired now. n my temp has gone up. bcuz i bathed in cold water there. bwahahaha. reach hm also bathed in cold water. freezing. n my temp now is. wait. i go measure. ok. done. 38.1 degrees. but ah. strangely, i still feel quite healthy. as in. i still can do the normal stuffs. just tt my body feels very weird. abit warm like tt. ok. whatevr-. k. enough for now. i am so... tired. i shall go n slp. bwahahaha. be back later.

heyyyyy- bwahahh. k. din go online ytd. spent the whole day with my cousin, evangeline. bwahaha. she stayed over. at night, we played Motor Racer on the playstation for nearly th entire night. so cool lorh. actually motor racer is a very very very very very very very very very very old game. but ah. cuz we nth to do mah. thn she dun wanna play the NBA one also. bwahaha. so we were playing motor racer and bomberman. bwahahaha. bomberman. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. her hair now so so so so long rdy!!! ugh. i jealous. somemore hers is brown lorh. n its natural. n she is so tall now. n slim also. n her waist. wah lau. tiny like anything. bwahahahah. k. so anyway. she din get into normal acad. she has to stay in normal tech. kinda sad... she worked really hard for it. really. she really did. evn though nth to do with me, i feel kid of sad. last yr i was alrdy expecting her to get into normal academic. thn she. sigh. just short of tt bit. thn this yr. she worked evn harder. but. sigh. i dun noe lah. its unfair. i think its so unfair... she really put in alot of effort to study. i dun noe larhx. nvm. anyway. went tbp with her. she's so cool u know. go out nv bring any money. i paid for everything. bwhaahahhaa. somemore treated her crepe. i must be a really nice cousin. bwahahahahahaha. anw anw anw. so yea. spent the day hanging out at tbp. came home. she bathed. i bathed. played motor racer. again. bwahaha. thn she went home. i wanted to stay in her house. so long never go le... i mean. got go. but nv stay. but thn ah. tmr got the canoe. sigh. can pon. but i dun wan. bwaahahahhahaa. cannt be so selfish. bwahahaha. hehehe. okok. gtg lerhx. bye bye!

heyyyyy-
ok. i'm back at home now. just now jq came over. went to play badminton with my sis. after tt went hm. jq watched the LoveHina tapes i recorded while my sis n i went to bath. i mean. we didnt bath tgt. bwahahaha. anyway. after tt. ate. went to tbp. jq got a new pair of converse shoes. n i got the energy poster. bwahahahah. i mean. it came free with the shoes n jq gave it to me. bcuz i wanted it. bwahahahha. actually. y do i want it? bwahahahaha.
i think i'm a really soreloser lorh. today played badminton. it was a realt THRASH k. tt time score was 90:100. today. sigh. 50:100. partly bcuz when i lost by 9 points. i got so fed-up tt i started to vent my anger when i hit the shuttlecock. thn all hit until like shit like tt. i need to learn to control my anger. control myself. more like it. i must learn to accept losing. accept losing. accept losing. winning is NOT everything. i understand that. but thn ah. somehow though i understand it, i dun absorb it. as in. nvm. but anyway. i need more self-control. and learn to accept losing. yepp.

didnt sleep on sunday night. talked to jq on the phone. bwahahaha. so dumb. called her at 3am in the morning thinking it was only 1am. she must have been thinking:"this woman is insane!". anw. talked abt a whole deal of stuff n pu down the phone at abt 4.45am. thn went to write diary until 5am+++. went to slp. woke up at 5.30am. bwahahahahaha. quite pro lah.
anyway. monday had trng. cuz i din slp i felt so tired during trng. bwahahaha. but thn i "pia" like siao lorh. rmb wad my brother said:"in NS, you have to 'pia' until ur limit. n even when u reach ur limit, they wun let u off". ya. so canoeing tt time, i kept telling myself not to rest n everytime i stopped paddling, i forced myself to continue. was quite surprised tt i managed to canoe the whole distance without resting. in fact, very suprised. didnt think i could do it.
went jq's hse after tt. oh yah. it was mr josef tan's bday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR TAN!. thn went to the family service centre after tt. reached hm very late le. no energy to blog le. woke up on tuesday afternnon at 3pm+++. went out with jie jie to buy my sandals. cuz mum wasnt free. got my sandals. rushed home. n rushed off to the family service center again. bwahahaha. played the game of "life" there. as in. not the board game. something more real. like others always say:"u'll never know until u experience". agree to the fullest. everytime it was my turn, i know paying the bills whatever is inevitable. at first, i thot the game was unfair. tt paying the bills, sch fees, transport fees etc should not be compulsory. but thn. i realized. that IS life. life's like that. when i had not enough money, i had to borrow. it wasnt easy to ask. but anw. my sis offered me the money. after tt she had not enough for herself. n i had to borrow frm someone else. it really wasnt easy at all. borrowed frm sanker and alvin. wait. did i borrow frm alvin? ok. i forgot. but anw. i learnt tt, when u need money, u HAVE TO put away ur pride. when jason landed on "work opportunity", he was very happy. but thn when he found out what he had to do, he said "No. I dun want it". n since i was desperate, i took it for him. i sang. i cant believe it. loud n clear. until the everyone there could hear me. bcuz when u are desperate, u have to do things even if you dont want to. you cannot afford to bother abt what ppl think of u. learnt alot from the game. n the whole course. jason said:"this game sucks". i kinda agree. life's like tt. even if u dun like it, u HAVE to get on with it. n like SoonWhy said. everything "chance" we take, we all think it sucks. this IS life. this IS reality. really learnt alot from the game. n the entire course. n alvin. i mean. the BIG alvin. really thank the whole FSC team. if i were to write a book about ytd's game, it would take me 6months to do so. n to read it, maybe 6 days. but look. the game itself i was playing took only 2hrs. experience. is more than anything. to quote SoonWhy. i dun think any of u ppl reading my blog would catch wad i'm saying. bcuz u werent there last night. bcuz words are just words. yepp. but anyway. i really really truly truly sincerely sincerely thank the entire FSC team. for having such a program. for the talks. the game. everything. THANK YOU! u've made a big difference in my life. =)