What can i say, God?
Its painful like fire,
and to trust in You intensifies the pain.
But I still will.
Please be real to me.

a complete idiot,
that's what I feel like.
if i know nothing, i should really just say nothing.
nothing nothing nothing.

these people never fail to make me feel miserable and undo every effort put in to pacify me. not that what i feel is of utmost importance, but it doesn't hurt anyone for me to get less paranoid, does it?

i think everytime i don't do something right,
i don't feel like being alive.

It is really very daunting how much of the world that encapsulates me is plunging into the valley of Hate and Death. I can only wonder if this has always been, and people have always coped, and I have just always been quite oblivious until now. I wonder if any of my thoughts are wrong, and if I have always been best for myself only. I wonder, and I wonder.

This new year, I resolve to have faith. In God, in friends and in myself. I still have doubts about having faith in people, considering even those who are friends, and even I, have failed me. For that, I reckon what I actually want is for faith in God to become axiomatic.

In the words of someone (I forgot who though), "My life cottoned on so tightly to faith that if He wasn't real, then I am really in trouble."