Yesterday night I cried before the Lord and I asked Him why I have lost sight of my true purpose (motivation) and joy in serving. On the one hand, I was mad at myself for being so vulnerable to mortal wax and wanes. On the other hand, I was tired and weary. However, thank God that yesterday's sermon in church was about the Power of Praise. I started singing "Awesome in This Place" and I found myself weeping more than I did.

Yet, I knew that in the midst of my tears, something in me was maturing. I knew that God was working in me through such an experience. In fact, to mark the opening of a new chapter about motivation, God gave me a song, which I will not hesitate to share on my blog now. I haven't got a title yet though.

I don't need recognition
Just to know my Lord is pleased
I don't need affirmation
From anyone but Thee

[Chorus]
Jesus, Jesus
You have loved beyond I can love
Jesus, Jesus
Help me to comprehend Your love for me

All my life I'll live to worship
Serve and wait for You gladly
You have called, You have provided
You have been with me

You're my strength, my motivation
In Your ways will I abide
Keep my peace, my joy, my passion
Even through the tide

As I've discussed 2 entries earlier, our motivation for doing anything is really the Lord's love for us. It is only because His love has empowered us, that we may have strength to do things that our otherwise humanly self wouldn't do. The most important thing we can do for others is to first comprehend what God has done for us.

If there was only me and God,
I think serving God would have been easier.
But because I don't live in a world alone,
serving God means serving man too.

That makes serving God difficult.

I pray God makes me someone who is cooperative, so that I can bless someone who serves God and make his or her job a joy, and not a burden. I pray God opens my eyes to help me comprehend His love for me, so I can have the same kind of love for others.

It's easy to digress from one's true source of motivation, despite starting off so passionately.

A line in a very timely mailer by Mart De Haan (RBC Ministries) struck, and stuck: "If right beliefs are the head of our faith, and if good actions are the feet of what we believe, then the motives of Christ must be at the heart of what marks us as His people."

One's external speech, action and behaviour are often relatively easier to control compared to one's purpose and motivation. Purpose and motivation develop quite naturally and is influenced by spiritual forces rather than physical or mental ones. Yet, it is this thing that is most difficult to control that we need to control, and get right. Sounds difficult, no?

Having the right motives is like a difficult Mathematics sum. Only when you comprehend the solution to the problem can you apply it - pure memorization and regurgitation of the algorithm is superficial. Similarly, only when we have comprehended Christ's motives can we adopt the same motives when we act towards others. Following the things Jesus do isn't enough, instead, we gotta be who Jesus was.

No amount of scientific studying can help one comprehend Jesus's motives towards Man. Such comprehension is not a deliberate action of man, but an experience (an encounter) with Christ as a result of His crucifixtion for Man. Therefore, get to know Christ everyday, and understand more what He has really done for your sake. Remind yourself His mercies are new every morning.