How to Be Completely Alone*:

(*Being 'Completely Alone' entails being away from all sorts of animate and inanimate matter)

1. Stay at home and make sure everyone leaves the house

2. Go to your room and shut the door and windows

3. Sit on your bed and get under your blanket

4. Close your eyes, pinch your nose, fold your ears over their ear holes

By the time you complete Step 4, you will find that you are still not completely alone. Therefore, I'm kindly offering a free Step 5 as a means of supporting you in your quest.

5. Get a new How-to guide.

Good luck.

The most anticipated name on my calling list - the one I eagerly anticipate because I never ever reach him/her when I try. Oh yes, he/she calls.

(Sarcasm wholly intended.)

Another typical instance of me being willingly and grudgingly (no contradiction there) pushed around. Taken for granted. It's what I'm good at I think.

(Sarcasm wholly intended.)

I long for your 'thank you's. And I long for your 'can I help you's.

(Paradox wholly intended.)

Though you don't seem to know anyway.

Whatever.

Get on with it, get over it, and get out of it.

You wouldn't believe it but you have to (even I don't really believe it but) - I'm still posting here!

I get confused when I measure myself against other people - makes me wonder what I am. Of course, I still don't know what I am, as much as how a rubberband would never know exactly what it is without asking Stephen Perry.

I think its okay not knowing.

There's something else I know though - that if you read this, you will be searching Stephen Perry on Google... or probably already have.

UCB Noteworthy = Performativity