Tuesday, April 18, 2006

caught in the mercy fallout, found hope, found life, found all i need
ilovemyJesus!!


i had a need to blog about something but i forgot what that something was.
but anw,i'm currently very irritated because mosquitoes keep biting me.firstly, it itches and disturbs my typing (and whatevcr else i do actually).secondly,it bleeds and its disgusting.thirdly,when it bleeds,it leaves ugly scars.fourthly,my inability to locate them visually irks me.and to complement that,i keep hiting my own thigh in my attempt to rid of the annoying pest.

asdkfhjlsakjdsalkjdfasldjasdjsalkdjalsdnajsfwuhgurlwhgjkdfhgjkdfbb !!!

i faced a trial today.i learnt (once again) how lethal emotions can be.anger can drive you to be very honest and open.we who may have feared being truthful can find strength frm our emotions (such as anger) to unleash what's surpressed.but it may result as a good thing, it may result as a bad thing.

i thank God i learnt the lesson before i had to experience it.i was accused of something and i felt very angry.in a moment of heat, i nearly shouted back at the person who made the accusation, to tell him/her the truth that i DID do something and in fact, he/she should speak for himself/herself.but immediately,i got hit (no, not literally) by this question: "WHY?"

why do i want to prove myself? why do i want to judge him/her?

i remembered what i learnt about servanthood - "Its for God to see". so i dun have to prove myself even though he/she said i "dont do anything".

i remembered the lesson on non-perfect people.everyone's not perfect,even me,and i have no right to attack him/her with his/her weakness or even complain about them.everyone needs grace.do to others what you want others to do unto you.right?

i remembered John 17:4 & 23 where Jesus said "I have brought You(God) glory on earth by completing the work You(God) gave me to do" and "I in them and You (God) in me. May they (us, His people) be brought to complete unity to let the world know that You sent me and have loved them even as You have loved Me."
in short,it means that we bring glory to God by fufilling His purpose for us, which is to love people.through love,we can be brought to complete unity.and this itself can testify for God.

so remembering these, i held my tongue back.i kept quiet.for a few minutes,i bore hidden resentment.but the more i thought about God's words to me,the easier it was to let go of my anger.and i didnt feel any need to justify myself.i know God justifies me.

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